The Journey Begins

Dear Spouse and Caregiver,

Your head is spinning, and you are unsure what is next. I have been that spouse in the waiting room chair looking around the room thinking “How the heck did I end up here?” Unsure of what is happening to your loved one and what if any future you will have together. My husband, Rick, experienced a stroke on June 23, 2021 and that is when our life turned upside down.

“Something is very wrong!” 

Those 4 words changed my life from a spouse to a caregiver and took me on a journey that I was not prepared to handle or didn’t want to handle.  I had plans for my future, and it sure did not include caregiving.  Over the next year and half, together we went from being near death in the ICU to learning to walk and adjust to Rick’s new limitations.

Will I be a widow or a wife?

This was a constant thought. At first, the concern was would he live each day but as time passed the meaning of being a widow changed. In so many ways, we had to grieve the lost of our planned life and our current marriage dynamics. I soon learned that never being alone does not prevent the grief or the loneliness.

We as spouses and caregivers need to walk the journey together.

Very little support was available to help me through this transition. Family and friends love and care but after time they will move on. This is not a negative but a way of life. With this website and upcoming book “Season of Change” I hope to be able to better help you navigate the practical needs of a caregiver, provide support of your fears, your spiritual frustrations and care for yourself.

Anger and resentment

Anger and resentment is a real emotion that we all need to address. I was angry at the world and with God. Over the last 2 years, I have developed some positive coping strategies to those feelings and developed a life that, not ideal, is satisfying.

Welcome

Welcome to my journey and I am excited that you will be joining me. My plan is to post every Wednesday with a new topic. I would love to hear your concerns and questions that I can help to address in this blog. Sign up for my newsletter so I can be a support that has been right there in the front lines with you.

With love from spouse to spouse,